I think scott just propositioned me for sex
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
