His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Is Oprah even human
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
