That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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