I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
