this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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