No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
