Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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