haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
