I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
