My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I am naked and annoyed.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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