Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
