I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dicks are not precious.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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