I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
