well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can't turn off my feet"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
