Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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