I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
