I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
