fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
