well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
