Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
