you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
