she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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