3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
