I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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