What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
