Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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