Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
