he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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