i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
