just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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