This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
