so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
