no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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