Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
