hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
