This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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