do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
