i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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