My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
