And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
