People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
