I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
