ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
