He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
