where am i from again
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
