found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
