I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
