Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
