you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
