She's JV to your varsity
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
